Monday, March 31, 2008

The Bathroom Lagoon

Now, you are so lucky I can write this blog.
You are so lucky that I'm not drowned, waterlogged, floating or pruney (as in wrinkled...not purple with a pip in the middle).

You see....

The bathroom in my new house has a lagoon in the middle.

Well, I call it a lagoon. I suspect that Bunnings call it a spa for two, and Shane Warne calls it "woohoo!!!"
Either way, it doesn't matter what you call it, I have a massive triangular bath-like washing vessel in the corner of my bathroom. After a 4 year undergraduate degree, and 2 years of a doctorate, I am qualified to say, "that's not wheelchair friendly". But, in accordance with the theme of my life, "let's give it a red hot go"

Here's some things I've learnt about lagoons since moving to this new house:

- If you don't fill the lagoon above the level of the jets, those jets spray the water at an angle of about 45 degrees into the air.
- If you are the same height as me, reaching over to turn the lagoon bubbles on, your face will be about 45 degrees above the jets...in the air. You do the maths

- If you do fill the lagoon above the level of the jets, it's very deep
- If you are the same height as me, it might be a good idea to wear a life jacket or some type of scuba device

- The best way to relax in the lagoon is to close your eyes
- The worst way to relax in the lagoon is to close your eyes...as that is when Reg-the-circus-dog is unsupervised and takes a flying leap from the wheelchair (and fortunately on that occasion, missed the spa, but not by much!!)

- The lagoon has head rests in two corners
- If you are the same height as me, those "headrests" are merely serving suggestions as you can sit in any direction in a triangular lagoon. You can even dissect the hypotenuse if you want to!!

And the most important thing I've learnt about lagoons this week....

After half a gin and tonic, it's probably best not to have a quick lagoon-swim because....

....if you're the same height as me, and you have the same alchohol tolerance, you'll have to fill the lagoon up to the top...and float your way out!!

Right, where did I leave my flippers??

Cheers,
L

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